


Turning Darkness to Light

by fandomsandanythingelse



Series: This is Home [12]
Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Cartoon Therapy-typical therapy, Deceit | Janus Sanders goes to therapy, M/M, Therapy, and boy does he need it, cartoons, she-ra and the princesses of power is brought up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:29:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26050426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomsandanythingelse/pseuds/fandomsandanythingelse
Summary: Janus goes to therapy. He's not sure what's going on, only that he wants to go back for some reason.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: This is Home [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884430
Comments: 5
Kudos: 74





	Turning Darkness to Light

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Warriors by Aaliyah Rose (She Ra and the Princesses of Power Theme)

"Hey, Janus?"

Janus looked up from his book at Patton. "Yes, love?"

Patton smiled a little, and Janus smiled at the fact that he'd made Patton smile.

"Have… have you ever thought about going to therapy?"

“Therapy?”

“Well, I’m just asking because…” Patton trailed off, searching for the right words.

“Because Angela left me?”

“Not just that. You’re an adult, with adult issues, and sometimes you need to talk them out with someone who’s got an objective view of things.”

“Have you been to therapy before?”

Patton nodded. “Not too long after Joyce died. It really helped me, and my old therapist moved back to town, so you could do a session with him, see if he’s a good fit?”

Janus thought about it for a minute. “You know what? Sure, why not?”

“You won’t regret it!” Patton said with a grin.

* * *

Janus sat down in Dr. Picani's office and looked around. No wonder Patton liked the man, his office was covered in cartoon and Disney memorabilia. If he didn't know any better, Janus would say that he was in a child psychiatrist's office, not a renowned couples' and individual therapist.

He leaned back on the couch and waited for Dr. Picani to enter. He didn't have to wait long, apparently, as an arm and leg poked through the door, accompanied by… singing?

Janus watched as the man did a strange little song and dance before entering the room, then sat down on the other side of the desk.

"Hello new patient! I'm Dr. Picani, and you're…" the doctor looked down at the notebook in his hand. "Janus?"

"Um, yes?"

Dr. Picani smiled. "Nice to meet you, Janus! Do you how do?"

"I'm sorry, do I what?"

"Do you how do? It's my way of asking how you're doing."

"Oh." Janus processed that for a second. "Oh. That's… that's very clever."

Dr. Picani tilted his head, his lips quirking up ever so slightly. "Really?"

"Yes, because normally, when you ask someone 'how are you,' their immediate, knee-jerk reaction is to say 'I'm good.' But when you flip the script like that, change up how you _ask_ the question, you get the person to actually think about how to _respond_ to the question. You get an honest, thoughtful answer instead of an immediate lie."

Dr. Picani's smile grew a little. "You're right, that is very clever of me. Almost like you think you're clever enough to avoid answering me by pointing out my methods.

"So I'll ask again, Janus. Do you how do?"

Janus opened his mouth, then promptly closed it. He took a moment to process what just happened, then answered, "I'm… doing well, I suppose."

"You suppose?"

Janus shrugged. “I mean, as of this moment, I’ve been having a good day. There isn’t really anything affecting my current mood.”

Dr. Picani nodded and wrote something in his notebook, then looked back up at Janus. “Have you ever been to therapy before?”

“No, but I most likely should have by now.”

“And what makes you say that?”

Janus snorted. “Where do I even start?”

“Start at the beginning, if you want.”

“Well…” Janus leaned against the armrest on the couch. “I guess it started when my parents kicked me out.”

“Why’d they do that?”

“My ex-wife, Angela, showed up at my door with a baby. I was still in high school, but she’d graduated the year before. But she shows up with this baby, and says it’s mine, and my dad says that if I’m old enough to get a girl pregnant, I’m old enough to take care of a baby on my own, and then I’m out on my ass.”

Dr. Picani nodded again. “Did you have anywhere to go?”

“Luckily, Angela had an apartment of her own already, so I got a part-time job and barely scraped my way through the rest of high school.”

“Made your way from the bottom?”

“Yeah, you could say that. I graduated, married Angela, and started college. Then, after two semesters, Angie insisted on being a stay-at-home mom, which meant I had to drop out and get a full-time job. I managed to get a decent position as a salesman, which kept us afloat. I worked my way up from there too. I got pretty high up with them.”

Dr. Picani wrote something down in his book. “Can I ask what happened with Angela?”

Janus sighed and sat back. “After a few years, I started noticing her drinking and kind of… getting more distant. By the time Virgil was six or seven, I knew that she’d been cheating on me, and when she told me she was pregnant again, I had no idea if the baby was mine or not. But then she had Remus, and god if I didn't love him as much as I loved Virgil.

“She was still distant, though. She was hardly ever home when I was, and according to Remus, I guess she brought guys home while I was gone. But then one day, I got home and she was there with divorce papers. She said I could keep the kids, but she was taking the house that we had literally just bought together.”

“Oh wow.”

“Yeah. And then like that, the kids and I were out on our asses, and because I had just, you know, bought a house, I was pretty well broke and barely had enough money to get a shitty two-bedroom apartment in the bad part of town. It wasn’t until last year that I was able to get enough money to get a better place.”

Dr. Picani nodded and looked up from his notes. “From what I’ve heard so far, I’d say you sound a lot like Catra.”

“Catra? Isn’t she like… the villain from She Ra?”

“You’ve heard of it?”

“Yeah, of course I’ve heard of it. My mom would watch the reruns back in the nineties.”

“Oh, yeah, that one exists,” Picani mumbled. “I was actually talking about the 2018 reboot Netflix did.”

“I see. And you’re comparing me to the villain from a rebooted eighties cartoon because…”

“Well, no comparison is perfect, but I tend to compare my patients’ issues to cartoons to… make it a little easier to digest, I guess.”

“And you’re comparing my issues to those of a cartoon villain cat girl?” Janus crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow.

“Tell me what you know about She Ra,” Dr. Picani said.

“Well, there’s this girl, Adora, I think? And she’s like He-Man's sister or something, and she gets like, a magical sword and saves the world with the power of friendship.”

“I mean, yeah that’s the basic plot of the reboot, except that He-Man isn’t in it at all.”

“Huh, interesting.”

“Yeah, and it’s actually really inclusive of LGBT identities, and deals with trauma really well, which is why I think it’s a pretty apt comparison for a lot of people.”

“You still haven’t told me why you’re comparing me to a cartoon villain.”

“Interesting that you keep pointing out that Catra’s the villain.”

“Because she is. She’s She Ra’s arch-nemesis, isn’t she?”

“I mean, in the reboot, yeah, she kind of is. But also, she and Adora grew up together.”

“Did they now?”

Picani nodded. “Adora and Catra grew up in the Horde under the… well, the not-so-kind hand of Shadow Weaver. Adora was always the favorite, with Catra getting the worst of her punishments.”

“Hm.”

“When Adora found the sword that made her She-Ra, she tried inviting Catra to join the rebellion. Catra said no, and Adora left her by herself in the Horde. In Adora’s absence, Catra did her best to move up the ranks in order to prove herself capable to Shadow Weaver.”

“Did she now?”

“Yup. And then… without spoiling too much for you, Shadow Weaver leaves and joins the Rebellion, and you can imagine how that makes Catra feel.”

“I assume not good.”

“Definitely not.” Picani spaced out for a second, before looking at Janus again. “And then her new friend, Scorpia, left, which sent Catra even further into--”

“So you’re saying I have abandonment issues?”

“Well, not exactly…”

“What else can you be saying? My dad kicked me out, my wife left, so you think I’m like a fucking cartoon antagonist with abandonment issues.” Janus stood up. “You know what, this probably isn’t going to work out.”

“You changed the wording,” Picani said quietly.

“What?”

“This whole time, you’ve been saying that Catra’s a ‘cartoon villain,’ but this last time, you called her an antagonist. Why change it?”

Janus paused and sat back down. “Huh. I guess I did.”

“Tell me something, Janus. Why do you think Catra tried so hard to be number one in the Horde after Adora left?”

“I haven’t seen the show.”

“Then from what we’ve discussed here. Catra tries so hard to gain favor with whoever’s on top. Why do you think she does that?”

Janus thought for a bit. “To feel like she’s not a failure. That she… belongs somewhere.”

Picani smiled a little. “And why do you think she feels that way?”

“Because everyone she ever loved left her.”

“And do you think that’s why you climbed up in whatever you did?”

Janus furrowed his brow. He  _ had  _ worked hard, whether it was that barista job in high school, that sales position he’d had for forever, even being vice-president of the PTA. He hadn’t tried that hard to gain Patton’s favor, but he had done his best to show that he was… worthy of the position.

“You know what? Maybe you’re a little bit right.”

Picani’s smile widened a little. “Maybe.”

* * *

Janus walked out of the office about half an hour later, definitely feeling a little better about himself. And with another appointment scheduled for the next week.

Patton pulled up in front of the building, and Janus got in the car.

“So, how’d it go?”

“I think it went well.”

“Yeah.” Janus was quiet for a second. “Can we watch She-Ra when we get home?”


End file.
